


Good-for-nothing brats

by mutsu



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutsu/pseuds/mutsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And it was fine by him being a fool because he wasn't alone and they were all fools but free ones and that was all that ever mattered to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good-for-nothing brats

He has never been the smart type.He was a good-for-nothing who only knew how to swing his sword.A foolish brat that was a disappointement to his parents.He didn't want to be disinherited but deep down,he didn't really care. Even when he was spitting blood and was covered in bruises,lying on the ground.He grew used to the beating he'd always get and yet,in the never ending darkness that was his daily life,a ray of sunshine emerged.It was a man who looked just as pretty as a woman and whose smile echoed light and attracted people like he was fire and they were moths.It was way too bright for the little boy he was so he had to look down and everytime there was a boy around his age carrying an oversized sword that wouldn't leave Yoshida's side.The silver-haired boy was always picking his nose and getting in stupid fights,not giving a damn about the world and Takasugi knew from the first look that he was a good-for-nothing just like him.He finally found somewhere where he belonged,somewhere he could call home and it was fine by him being a fool because he wasn't alone and they were all fools but free ones and that was all that ever mattered to them.

But,Takasugi learned way too early that beautiful things never last.All the hopes,the bonds and aspirations crumbled down and their teacher got snatched away from them.So they fought to get back their everything and still lost everything in a war they could never win to start with because they were too foolish to see how weak they really were.How weak _he_ really was.How could he ever forget the calamity his weakness brought on them ? How could he ever forget that sight burnt in the back of his eyelid ? The tears of his good-for-nothing bestfriend and the sad quiet smile that wasn't his usual dumb grin as he looked at the head of their teacher.The teacher that he loved more than anyone and wanted to save more than anyone but had to behead with his own hands in order to keep his friends safe (no he didn't have the right to cry,not him,not him,not him).And in Takasugi's remnant eye,everything burnt down to hatred ; hatred toward the world that took everything from them,hatred toward his weak self that couldn't save Gintoki from carrying this burden,hatred toward Gintoki that never blamed him for anything.Their paths then diverged - they had to - because they lost everything together,because Gintoki's broken smile hurt too much,because Katsura's dead eyes hurt too much,because Sakamoto's loud laugh sounded too fake and sad.

Maybe he really had some few screws lose as he swore to burn down the world but he never lost sight of himself ; he couldn't forget the beast within him that was thirsty for blood and he couldn't ignore his eye that claimed for revenge.And sometimes,when the night was quiet and he'd stand alone on the dock of his ship,he'd just hear that voice again begging him to end everything - all the suffering and the madness - ,to stab this heart that was shamelessly beating while their teacher's didn't and take revenge on himself.But that wouldn't be enough,that wouldn't hurt enough and it was a too cheap repentance for his sins.Suicide wasn't enough suffering for the good-for-nothing brat he was.

That's why he is pointing his sword at Gintoki once again,ten long years later.Because hurting his other self would hurt much more than cutting himself.So they attack each other and they fall and get up again,and crawl on the ground to stand up despite the wounds and never avoid each others sword.Then,their swords break and it's going down to fists and they beat each other to pulp.And their fight is ugly and brutal and personal all at once,like some fight between brothers that you shouldn't be looking at.The battefield is quiet and all you can hear is punches and boold dripping on the ground but the smoke reflects shadows and ghosts of the past.Both are shaking and exhausted but some miracle manages to get them up every single time.But no,they're not killing each other,they're saving each other because they both know how it feels to carry the weight of all the goddamn agony and suffering so they continue fighting and beating each other until they can't get up,until breathing becomes difficult.Again,it's quiet and Takasugi's cracked voice breaks the silence and he lets everything out ; blames Gintoki and blames himself.However,Gintoki gets up again as if his body isn't aching and his dead fish eyes are glowing with unwavering determination to save the man that was once his brother, bestfriend and comrade.

His other self won't go down that easily,it seems.And suddenly everything is so simple for Takasugi.He's such a foolish good-for-nothing who never saw anything beyond the tip of his nose.Now he just feels tired but his remnant eye never looked so alive and all he really wants is to have Gintoki and all the bickering and laughter back in his life.So he smiles.It's a little pained smile but he smiles and it's the most human expression he had in the last ten years.

« I haven't been expelled yet,have I ?»

They are going to be alright.


End file.
